More than half of Americans believe in soulmates. For Kaci and Ryan, they believe they’re each other’s “one.”
The first time Ryan Klepacs saw his girlfriend, Kaci Alvarez, he just stopped and admired the warmth she radiated, with her thick-rimmed glasses and her bold, red bangs.
Whoa…
She’d sent him a Snapchat for the first time—a simple selfie, on Dec. 29, 2017. Neither one quite remembers what exact words were exchanged. They just remember the way the other made them feel, and Ryan recalls the endearing dimples Kaci had from smiling so big in the selfie she’d sent over the messaging app.
Ryan, a YouTuber based in Canada, was used to getting Snapchat messages from fans of his channel, where he goes by the name “Double.” His channel has more than 684,000 subscribers and has almost 155 million channel views. Most of his videos are of him playing video games.
He enjoys talking to his fans and does it often. Over time, he’s learned to separate the public with his personal life, mainly keeping conversations with fans light and brief. There isn’t enough time for him to have in-depth conversations with all of them.
Then Kaci came along.
Initially, Ryan tried to keep their conversations professional yet friendly, even as they sent messages back and forth nearly every hour of every day beginning that late December morning. Ryan usually prefers keeping a more “flawless” image on his channel, worrying that if he lets people get too close, the luster of “Double” will diminish. But Ryan quickly realized he was messaging Kaci far more than anyone else and talking about everything with her.
[epq-quote align=”align-right”]“It didn’t take long for the couple to believe they’re soulmates.”[/epq-quote]Their relationship moved fast. By Jan. 8, 2018, just 10 days after the first Snapchat was sent, the two would be officially dating. Developing a relationship felt natural, and it didn’t take long for the couple to believe they’re soulmates.
For Kaci, a sophomore photojournalism major at Ball State University, she’d been watching Ryan’s YouTube channel for about four years before reaching out to him. She says she is “big into YouTubers” and grew up watching channels such as PewDiePie, AmazingPhil, and Markiplier. In her eyes, Ryan was somewhat of a celebrity. Kaci liked his content because it cheered her up when she was feeling down, and she would watch the videos over and over again.
Kaci remembers being infatuated with Ryan’s soft and sweet smile and the way his brown-hazel eyes crinkle when he smiles, which now happens often when he’s around her. She liked how his hair stood up straight naturally, which she says suits him really well. Most of all, she liked his personality—his sense of humor, and how much his videos made her laugh.
Over time, she knew Ryan was someone she wanted to talk to, maybe even get to know better. So she first messaged him that December day while he was streaming live on Twitch, asking if he wanted to start a Snapchat streak. When he replied, she felt giddy.
As she got to know him more through texting and Skype calls, she was attracted to his genuine personality.
For instance, at the start of the semester last spring, Kaci was in a tough class that was starting to stress her out. It had only been a week or so since she first messaged Ryan, but he called her and gave her a pep talk to calm her down from the breakdown that was about to happen.
The couple wouldn’t meet each other in person until Feb. 16, when Ryan drove down from Canada so the two could celebrate Valentine’s Day. They met up at Shafer Tower on Ball State’s campus. Kaci brought a friend with her, just in case. They rented a hotel room in downtown Muncie and watched High School Musical.
Friends of the couple feel the day they first met is when they officially started dating. For Ryan and Kaci, it’s the early January day when Ryan blurted out while on a Skype audio call, sounding surprised he’d even said it, Kaci…will you be my girlfriend?
Now, the two have been dating for a little over a year. Ryan tries to make the nearly seven-hour drive from Canada to Muncie for their anniversary on the 8th of each month. It’s worth it for him to see his other-half, his soulmate.
Kaci and Ryan believe they are soulmates because of how mature their relationship was from the start. Their conversations were realistic, and they thought it was uncanny how much they had in common. They sacrifice so much for the other, mainly in the form of time.
Because of the long-distance relationship, they have to be more mature in planning their time together and communicating efficiently while apart. Both had dated previously, but this time they had an indescribable feeling that this relationship was different: permanent.
The idea of soulmates originates in Plato’s Symposium, where the Greek philosopher discusses love. The myth goes that humans were originally beings with four legs, four arms, two heads, and two sets of genitalia—one male and one female.
Plato says the Greek god, Zeus, cut these so-called humans in half because of their disinterest in treasuring and honoring the gods. These two souls, man and woman, landed in two different bodies and would forever long for their other half, their soulmate, and be in pursuit of wholeness.
Plato writes, “There is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.”
For Kaci and Ryan, they bring each other their greatest joy.
In modern-day society, soulmates are sometimes seen as a missing piece to a puzzle—“the one” you’ve been looking for. According to a Marist poll, 73 percent of Americans believe in soulmates. However, there is very little scientific evidence that soulmates exist.
In today’s society, people have come to believe that love is a feeling, or that it demands huge romantic gestures. But according to Kurt Smith, a counselor and writer for PsychCentral, love is a choice.
Diana Eskander, a love coach from Montreal, believes in soulmates. She defines them as individuals who can grow or create something together, such as a family, home, or project. According to Eskander, people can have multiple deep, loving connections in their life.
She says appreciation is at the core of strong relationships, such as one between two soulmates. She refers to appreciation as “almost like a love language because it creates more love within a relationship.” Behaviors of appreciation include putting another person’s needs before your own or doing something that can help a partner out. Specific ways to show appreciation are unique to each soulmate.
For Ryan and Kaci, the biggest way they show appreciation in their relationship is by giving each other their time. In order to create a sense of normality while apart, the two will often have Skype pulled up while they’re at home. They sometimes even open Skype while they’re sleeping, so it’s like they’re lying with each other.
Though science might not back up the idea of soulmates, the concept is fairly accepted, as a majority of Americans believe in soulmates.
Eskander believes a way to know if someone is your soulmate is if you recognize yourself in them, if they feel familiar even when you don’t know them yet.
Being with a soulmate feels like being home, Eskander believes, no matter where you are. It’s knowing you want to spend a significant amount of time with this person. A soulmate is someone you evolve or grow with.
For Kaci and Ryan, they both have the same vision for the future. For now, their plan is for Kaci to move to Canada to be with Ryan by September. The photojournalism program she hopes to pursue there begins that month. From there, Kaci wants to eventually marry Ryan, have kids, and adopt plenty of dogs.
As for their initial Snapchat streak, it’s long gone. They lose it whenever they’re together because they’re more focused on each other than their phones.
This column was originally published in the spring 2019 print edition.
