Erika Eiffel-Eklöf married the Eiffel Tower in 2007. Now, she wants to help others understand what it means to be object sexual.
In our society, weddings are thought to be one of the most important parts of life. Many people start dreaming of their wedding days before ever experiencing their first relationships, dressing up in tiny veils and high heels at their after-school playdates. But it’s safe to assume that most people dream of marrying other humans on their special days—not inanimate objects.
According to clinical sexologist Dr. Amy Marsh’s website, object sexuality is a rare sexual orientation that involves being attracted to non-human objects. Many object sexuals, who refer to themselves as O.S. people, are attracted to large structures such as fair rides and bridges, but the orientation can involve any inanimate object.
Erika Eiffel-Eklöf, known for her publicized marriage to the Eiffel Tower, is one of the most notable object sexuals. Erika’s relationship is featured in the 2008 documentary Married to the Eiffel Tower, and she has publicly advocated for other O.S. people. She wants the world to know that though it’s easy to assume that object sexuality is just another weird kink, O.S. people’s feelings mirror those of average, run-of-the-mill relationships.
“O.S. attraction is subjective,” Erika says. “The attributes that attract a person to a specific object are based on tastes. Everyone is wired with particular aesthetic attraction and essential attraction. It is no different for O.S. people.”
The website Erika runs, Objectum-Sexuality Internationale, explains that like other sexual orientations, attraction to objects starts around puberty. When addressing frequently asked questions about the orientation, the website also explains that even though object sexuality seems like an obsession, so does love. For those asking how people can be in love with an object, Erika suggests first asking what love even is.
“The meaning of love has no decisive definition,” Erika says. “The most general answer anyone can give is that love is the feeling of true happiness and fulfillment in the heart.”
For Erika, that fulfillment comes from her relationship with the Eiffel Tower.
In Married to the Eiffel Tower, Erika describes their bond as “spiritual,” explaining that while it can be hard to intimately interact with a public, stationary object, she still feels a deep connection. She says she feels confident that the Eiffel Tower has a sense of this connection as well.
According to Erika, if someone is only sexually attracted to an object and does not feel any emotional attraction to it, they are not considered objectum sexual. But naturally, if they do experience intense love and affection, this can lead to marriage. A “marriage” to an inanimate object is usually a commitment ceremony, which The Spruce, a lifestyle website, describes as a public declaration of a couple’s commitment to one another. These unions are not legally binding and are common among couples who cannot have an officially recognized marriage, such as Erika and the Eiffel Tower.
Judging from the few Tumblr pages and subreddits dedicated to object sexuality, Erika’s willingness to share her story is not very common of O.S. people. Even though these social media sites can be anonymous, people can be quick to delete posts or comments about being attracted to objects. One Tumblr user discussed being sent into a state of mourning after being forced to get rid of their car, which was also their partner. Another anonymous person described the love they felt for a coffee mug and how devastated they were when it fell and shattered. According to these posts, losing the companionship of an object seems to have the same effect as losing a human partner.
But the reluctance people have to publicly discuss these experiences contributes to a lack of research, making it hard to figure out exactly what causes attraction to inanimate objects. However, Marsh wants people to understand that object sexuality doesn’t come from sexual trauma, and it isn’t a disorder or mental illness. Erika believes that although many might assume O.S. people cannot socialize with other humans, which leads them to pursue relationships with objects, this is not the case for all O.S. people.
According to Erika, many O.S. people feel pressured to enter into relationships with humans rather than objects because of the way their orientation is often perceived. She says it’s common to assume that relationships with objects rely on “lust, infatuation, and dependency” rather than genuine love. Erika thinks this comes from how people think about love and happiness, trying to define it, when no one really can.
