Psychologists say that if a friendship lasts more than seven years, it’ll last a lifetime.
Friends are often brought together by the things they have in common. They might like the same sports team or bond over their coffee addictions. Other friends come into our lives in surprising ways, or when we’re dealing with our hardest personal battles.
According to a 2009 study by the Netherlands Organization for Scientific Research, people lose about half of their friends every seven years. If a friendship lasts more than seven years, scientifically speaking, it’s bound to last a lifetime. To better understand how friendships last, Ball Bearings asked four different people about their own friendships.
ISAAC KIPFER & THOMAS WILKENS
Isaac Kipfer is a biology/pre-med major, and Thomas Wilkens is a psychology and criminology major, both in their freshman years at Ball State University.
Isaac:
We met at open gym in China, where I was going to an American international school. I met Thomas at the end of the summer, when new people were coming in. We played basketball together. His family had just moved from America, and we were both 11 years old. We became close friends.
After two years, Thomas moved away to Saudi Arabia with his parents. It broke my heart, but leaving was a common trend at that school, both for teachers and students. It sucked from our perspective, but we’d keep track of each other through video games and Facebook.
I always knew I would go to Ball State—my mom did, and it was the best option for me. As soon as I heard Thomas was also going to college and was interested in criminology, my mom told me Ball State has an incredible criminology program, and that I should tell Thomas to apply—we could be roommates.
It started to work out, and we got excited about rooming together. That was the dream. We were forced to move apart, but we always hoped that going to college was something we could do together. We’d talked about it, even back in China. That was a way we could live together.
We’re very different people, but we always understand each other and what we need in any moment. Our sense of humor is the same. It’s always nice for our friendship. If you’re too similar, sometimes there is conflict. We don’t really have conflict, so it works out.
Thomas:
We were at open gym. Both of our parents are teachers, and it was a place for kids to go in the morning. In the summers we’d both go to basketball camp.
I was kind of bouncing around. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do after high school. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go to college or not. I applied to schools and stuff, but Isaac was already going to go to Ball State because he’d already been accepted. I had never heard of Ball State because I’m not from Indiana, but he told me to just apply for it and see if we could be roommates. So I did.
TAMIA MANNING
Tamia Manning is a junior Spanish and speech pathology major at Ball State.
I was originally planning on going to another university, but that didn’t work out. I didn’t have a roommate by the time I got to orientation here at Ball State, so I was getting worried that I would have to go random. I posted once on a Facebook page for incoming students, but I didn’t get any responses. After orientation, I decided to ask one more time and just hope for the best. I posted a meme of Spongebob and Mr. Krabs with the caption, “when you haven’t found a roommate yet.” A couple hours later, a girl named Crystal Pennell responded with another Spongebob meme and said, “same here.”
I messaged her right away and said, “you’re the one.” We now room together and have been like sisters ever since. She’s met my family, and I’ve met hers. I knew it was going to work out from the beginning—I feel like it’s a match made in heaven.
CORINTHIAN COLDREN
Corinthian Coldren is a senior tourism, events, and sports management major at Indiana University – Purdue University Indianapolis. Wesson is a lab-husky mix.
His name is Wesson, like the gun Smith and Wesson. He actually came to me as a service animal. Once I got through my treatment and started getting better, I just couldn’t bear the thought of Wesson not being in my life. I just happened to need a service animal, but he had become my best friend. I can’t do anything without him.
When I was in high school, I went through a couple of traumatic experiences, and I left having some pretty severe anxiety and PTSD. Wesson mainly worked at night, helping me sleep. If I had night terrors or panic attacks, he would lay on me and comfort me.
I first got him at the prison in Pendleton. They train animals there, which I thought was really interesting. I adopted him right away.
He was fully mine, so I didn’t have to give him back. But they do send out emails every now and then if they don’t have enough dogs in the system. I would always call and see if there was someone waiting for a service animal, and they’d always tell me there wasn’t. If there is nobody waiting, I’m not going to give him up and have him sit in that prison again. That would break my heart. I can’t even go on vacation without panicking about my dog. So I eventually made the decision to be pulled off the list.
I know a lot of people love their dogs and consider them family. But I think I’m closer to Wesson than to my parents or other friends. He’s been with me at my absolute worst and never questions me. It’s like he understands, and I can talk to him. It’s like having a best friend that never goes away.
Ball Bearings has edited statements for clarity.
